Since the conviction and sentencing of twenty-two year-old “Spam King” Darren Edwards last month, the Internet has been veritably spam-free. Internet cop Roy Balahoy declared “a sweeping moral and technological victory” after Edwards was led in orange jumpsuit and leg irons to begin his one hundred year sentence in San Francisco’s notorious Alcatraz island prison. “Ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘im,” beamed Balahoy at the time.
But in an often unpredictable world, since seeing the disappearance of “erectile dysfunction” and “tighter, smoother abs” ads from their inboxes, more and more Americans are longing for the days when they could meet co-workers by the office water cooler and bitch for hours about the troublesome spam.
“To tell you the truth, I liked going through the whole slew of four hundred to five hundred spam e-mails that clogged up my inbox every morning,” said Todd Hefgrew, an average thirty-something office employee at Glaxo Chemical. “It was cathartic; I felt that as I deleted each individual spam e-mail, I was fighting crime, and making the world a better place by doing it,” lamented Mr. Hefgrew. “Plus, I was getting paid for the time it took me to do it, which was awesome,” he added.
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